I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize