She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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