Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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