What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
