So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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