My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I need to calm my uterus...
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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