would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
