She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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