and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize