Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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