It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
