as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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