I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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