Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(347): View more from New York

i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning

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(910): View more from North Carolina

after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it

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(641): View more from Iowa

Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.

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(901): View more from Tennessee

I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.

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(+31): View more from The Netherlands

bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.

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(646): View more from New York

still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious

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(765): View more from Indiana

The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange

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(614): View more from Ohio

I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.

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(518): View more from New York

Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!

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