k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
