It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Terrible idea I love it
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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