I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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