so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
honey bunches of taint.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
