FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize