you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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