We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
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