I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I checked into jail on foursquare
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
