So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
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So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
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The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize