Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
birth control should be required to get into college
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize
