This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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