i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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