Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I enjoy the company of your penis
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
