the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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