girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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