a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
