last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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