we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
