best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
