I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
