You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Randomize
