who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
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