so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
