i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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