I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
