I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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