How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
