The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
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I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
how drunk are you?
Several
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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