I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Randomize
