Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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