Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
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