yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
