If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
