This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
