You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
