Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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