Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
