Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
