Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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