You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
