My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
