i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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