I want to stick my p in your. b.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
