Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
