Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I can't put those talents on a resume
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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