Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
