??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
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It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
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I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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