just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
