y did u give ur computer a hand job?
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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