Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
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