would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Randomize