oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
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