is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
She announced her abortion via fbk
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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