Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
When are your genitals available?
Who died my cat blue again?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
